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Reactive Abuse: How Narcissists Manipulate and Control You

J. A. Jackson Author
4 min read1 day ago

Imagine being pushed to your breaking point, only to have your reaction used as proof that you are the problem. This is the insidious nature of reactive abuse, a psychological trap set by narcissists to manipulate, discredit, and control their victims.

Narcissists do not see others as individuals with thoughts, feelings, and needs of their own. To them, people are merely tools for their own gain. Reactive abuse is one of the many tactics they use to maintain control while portraying themselves as the true victim. This form of psychological warfare is designed to provoke an emotional reaction that can be weaponized against the victim. Understanding reactive abuse is crucial to recognizing when you are being manipulated and resisting the bait that narcissists set to entrap you.

Image Creative Commons Canstock, Pexel, made on Canva.

The Devaluation Stage]
The cycle of reactive abuse begins with devaluation. In this stage, the narcissist systematically undermines their target through manipulation, gaslighting, blame-shifting, and outright lies. This is when they employ DARVO — Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender — to twist reality and make the victim doubt their own experiences. They may even spread false narratives to friends, family, and acquaintances, preemptively positioning themselves as the victim and their target as the aggressor. The goal is to weaken the…

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J. A. Jackson Author
J. A. Jackson Author

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